Jailbird

So I was poking around some old files today, and came upon something I had to share. If you've ever hung out with me for an extended period of time (or a short one, if there is wine involved), you know I often write senseless, silly poems, usually in limerick form. I think they are goofy and fun and I love to write them.

Well a few years ago on Halloween, we were having a pumpkin decorating contest at work. Some of the pumpkins were really nice and crafty, such as this one:


My group however, must have had some really interesting lunch, because this was what we came up with:


Meet the jailbird-pumpkin. We thought we were hilarious. But he wasn't quite complete without a story. I mean, how often do you see a bird-pumpkin, let alone in jail?? People would wonder what he was all about.

So my friends, I give you his story, "Jailbird". Enjoy :)

"Jailbird"

There once was a jailbird, alone in his cell
Nobody to listen, a story to tell.
It wasn't his fault he was stuck in this jail,
If only somebody would come pay his bail.

You see this poor pumpkin was kind of a nerd,
The others they laughed, at the weird pumpkin-bird.

It wasn't his fault he was a little displaced,
His life was abnormal, many challenges he faced.
While other little pumpkins sat nice in their patch,
This little pumpkin had a large urge to hatch.

He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't stop trying,
He'd squirm and he'd squeal, he just felt like flying!
His weird bird-like beak, disco balls for his eyes,
They just didn't get his squawky bird cries.

He knew that he needed to get out of here,
The feathers he found helped him get into gear.
Stuck onto his sides, they gave him new hope,
He knew he could fly, he was no dope.

Then one night it happened, he saw his big chance,
The other round pumpkins were at a big dance.
He saw in the distance a glimmer of light,
He felt in his guts he could get to new heights.

He flapped those fake feathers in hopes he could fly,
And before he knew it he was 20 feet high!
He screamed, HALLELUJA! and flapped them again,
And flew to a place that no pumpkin had been.

But as he was flying above the fall dance,
He spotted Lucia, his pumpkin romance.
The love, how it grasped him, he stopped in his tracks,
Stunned by her beauty, her luscious knick-knacks.

In less than a second tragedy did occur,
As our hero was no flying connoisseur.
In this moment of love, he sure did forget,
To flap his strong wings, his fate he then met.

As he fell towards the dance he was spotted above,
They shouted "Look out!" and each other they shoved.
Poor little Lucia got lost in the mix,
Bird-pumpkin fell on her like a great ton of bricks.

The dance it fell silent, they all knew her sad fate,
Lucia was crushed under his heavy weight.
Our pumpkin was devastated, his love he had killed,
One dream was now crushed because the other was filled.

So now this poor pumpkin sits alone in the jail,
The whole patch does hate him, he never gets mail.
He knows he will die alone in this place,
The local officials, they won't take his case.

If only bird-pumpkin had known from the start,
A little known fact which would have changed his poor heart.
Yes, Lovely Lucia, although she was sweet,
Was a confused little pumpkin, who's real name was Pete.