In Memory

I don't even know how to begin this post. I think its because thinking about the events of this past week is hard to do, but at the same time, I feel that writing about Nate is one way that I, among the hundreds who know him, can honor the time I was lucky enough to have with him.

If you don't know the story, Nate was a senior at Hampden Academy. On Sunday night he went missing, and his body was found yesterday afternoon, near a gravel pit that every H.A. student has visited at least once in his or her life. As of right now, the cause of death is unknown although there is significant speculation that he was intoxicated, took pills, and killed himself.

This is so hard to wrap my head around, because this is not the Nate Clark I knew. Let me back up just a bit.

When I was a junior in high school, a good 11 years ago, I got a role in a play for the Winterport Open Stage. One of my castmates was Dan Clark. Dan and I became friends while doing the show, and I soon became a regular babysitter for his two sons, Ben and Nate, then 4 and 7 years old respectively.

I think I fell in love with these boys the second I met them. Having little brothers the same ages as Ben and Nate I could easily relate to them, and they were the cutest kids ever. Nate was a little bit older, so he'd help me out with Ben, often translating for me as Ben was a little behind in his speech. These kids were my buddies, and I looked forward to every chance I had to babysit them.

After I went to college, I would only get to see the Clarks every now and again, usually at a ball game of some sort, as Rion and Nate often were on the same team. I remember one time I came home and took them out to the movies to give Danny and Denise a break and hang out with the kids. My absolute favorite memory of Nate was from my freshman year in college. I was home on break, and the boys had a basketball game at the elementary school. I remember walking in and Ben running right up to me to give me a hug. I went and sat with Danny and Denise. Only a minute or so later, as the players were running across the court, did Nate spot me. He stopped dead center, in the middle of the game, waved at me, turned around, shook his butt at me, and kept running. The other team scored, and as they headed back to the other end of the court, he did it again. And again. And again. We were dying laughing. He was such a goofball. Thats just how these kids were. We always had so much fun.

Eventually I lost touch with the Clarks as I got more involved in college and the kids grew up. I always kept an ear out for how they were doing though, and my mom would keep me updated as well. A few years ago they welcomed another son to the family, and last year Danny and Denise decided to split. I think this was hard on the boys, but especially Nate. I don't know why he did what he did, and I don't want to put blame anywhere, but I just wish he knew and could understand that things aren't ever as bad as he appeared to think they were.

I think the most heartbreaking part of the whole situation is remembering Nate as a little kid. He was so happy, and funny, and just a blast to be around. I never in a million years would have imagined that it would end like this for him. Its so hard to wrap my head around it all. My heart breaks for his family, his friends, and the entire H.A. community, which has lost more than its fair share of students in the past two or three years. I don't think the Clarks know how close to my heart their family has always been to me. Some people truly do leave a stamp on your life, and my time with their family is one I will never forget.

God Bless you Nate. Rest in peace. Thanks for the memories kiddo.